What my mistakes really taught me.
The blame game
When I was a teenager I blamed everyone else for my mistakes. Then in my early 20s, I realized I saw a pattern and the common denominator was myself, not them. That was probably the most humbling time of my life. Coming to terms with all the mistakes I had made and how I truly had no clue I was blaming others to avoid looking at myself. But more importantly, it was a huge time for me because it was when I began to learn just how difficult it is to show ourselves grace and forgiveness.
I see a lot of people mentally abusing themselves because of their mistakes. But the reality is that we all (including me 100%) make mistakes. Not making mistakes is not the challenge. The challenge is to learn to forgive yourself. To learn what showing yourself grace means. To have patience with, yourself.
Another lesson I learned early on was that I was so impatient when it came to my own inner growth. I wanted to just do it right the second I saw I was doing it wrong. But no one tells you that, just because you realize you made a mistake it doesn’t mean you will then have the answers to do it correctly directly after that. Sometimes you fall flat on your face a few more times till you get it right. This is where I learned patience is key.
You know, It might sound cheesy but, we need to learn to show ourselves the same forgiveness and compassion we would show a friend or family when they mess up.
"You are so much more than your mistakes".
In my life I’ve forgiven many people who have made mistakes. I’m friends with a lot of my ex boyfriends and I don’t believe in friends ever becoming enemies. I may have been hurt by people (we all have Im sure) but After I healed I showed every single one of them grace and forgiveness. So why not do that for yourself? I find it’s so much harder when it’s yourself. Learning that is really turning a negative into a positive.
So I’ll say it one last time. The challenge in life is not to avoid mistakes but it’s to show yourself grace when you do and just go at it again.
It’s a life long challenge and it’s the best kinda challenge because it’s rewarding each and every time you see progress. That’s the thing, we humans thrive on achievements. That’s why we make to-do list, go to school for degrees, have children, buy homes, make bucket lists. We need to achieve and the best achievement of all is when you stop making the mistakes and you finally get it right and you look back and see that thru that process you showed yourself love.
If everyone else deserves that wiggle room of grace and understanding. Why don’t you?
How do you show up for yourself? Share with me in the comments and maybe it will inspire someone who is struggling with this.